Won’t someone think of the children?

We each have our own comfort levels with how much we choose to divulge about our offspring and when it comes to social media, people can get quite vocal about it.  My own feelings on the issue have evolved over time.  My personal Facebook account is set to private (read: barely used) but I might occasionally include them in a profile picture.  Sometimes other people tag my children without my consent or when their account isn’t necessarily private but I’ve started to relax there too.

When I first started blogging my kids were referred to as ‘Baby and Mini Savage’ and now that all just sounds rather naff – and possibly more able to cause them embarrassment than any picture might  – so for now they are ‘my son’ and ‘my daughter’ or even ‘the baby’ until I work out where to next.

I’m Outta Here!

There are certain things I’ll probably never be comfortable with – semi-naked shots or someone from Russia requesting permission to republish these shots in a street publication but I try not to be dismissive of other people’s levels of comfort.

I’ve read remarks that refer to the cutting and pasting of our children’s heads onto child pornography or that children are being treated like property – their names and images given out freely without any prior thought for consent.  Given that most child abusers come from within our own families or communities, I find that a little bit excessive.

Some reports state that child abusers are using social media to share their own horrific images and not stealing the innocuous stuff that parents might display but there does seem to be a significant fear that no image is safe.  Maybe it’s not – I don’t know – but plenty of people choose to celebrate their children through art, social media or even through the local preschool newsletter.  Many feel they are letting child pornography win by choosing to hide away every image of their child.  I think there’s some validity to both sides of the argument I just wish people could discuss it with less judgment.

What are your comfort levels with how much information you release about your children?

Comments

  1. Catherine RodieBlagg says

    Interesting piece Carli. When I started my blog I swore I’d never use a photo of my kids. But the more I got into the more I relaxed about it. Now they’re all over it, even in the header. I still refer to them as G and C but I often use their names in other social media and they’re not secret – it’s just the way I chose to go.

  2. mumabulous says

    Thanks Carli. I’m also concerned about how much I divulge about my girls on Mumabulous. I’m not so worried about pedeofiles as I am about embarrassing them. Mind you this hasn’t stopped me from reporting their exploits for humor. As for my husband, lets just say I’m glad Dadabulous doesn’t read the blog. Love Mumabulous

  3. says

    I don’t name my kids and there are no photos that can identify them on the blog. My son in particular doesn’t want any. He told me it was a violation of his privacy. I respect that. Any time I write about either him or my daughter I tell them what the post is about & ask them if it’s OK to do so. They sometimes say no. I have to respect that.

    Perhaps because they were older when I started blogging. Maybe if I had started when they were younger I’d have used names and photos. Not sure.
    I still ask people to untag and un-name them in facebook photos, and I have asked that some be taken down. My eldest is on facebook now and the younger has a private instagram account. But both know they have as much control as they can over their own images. For me it’s about that I guess. Guiding them in how they manage their own online identity and how they treat other people in their images.

    • says

      I’m so glad you gave your point of view and I love that you ask them before posting. I’ve often wondered how to navigate this as they move out of the baby and toddler stage. To be honest I’m not sure what this blog will look like by then!

  4. Lily Mae says

    I think people live in fear too much, especially when it comes to this. I wont live my life thinking everyone is guilty and to fear everything BUT I don’t share photos of my daughter – or rarely do – because it doesn’t feel right to me. Not because I think some dirty perve is going to get a hands on the image BUT because she has no say – that just doesn’t sit well with me.

    That all being said my blog is very personal. But I try and write about things in a way make us fictional characters. There’s a lot of details I choose not to include because ultimately my blog is about a mothers ( my ) identity and experience.

    Social media is always changing, we don’t know where it is going, what it will be. It could very well be irrelevant one day!

    But I think the child pornography fear factor is very much out of control, we should protect our children – YES – but we shouldn’t live in fear of the worst either.

  5. says

    Newbie blogger here… I’ve used photos of my Little Miss from the get-go, but no name. I was actually linked by another blogger in a post recently and they used her real name and when I saw it I must admit I felt a little sick to my stomach. Sure, I could have asked them to remove it… but I didn’t. I’m not sure why I didn’t, perhaps because it’s not directly on my blog? Although this could still quite easily be linked back to me… *sigh*… I think I’m talking in circles. But you get the point. That’s what I do… right or wrong.. or whatever. X

    • says

      I have those types of conversations in my head. I wouldn’t feel bad for asking the blogger to take it down either. You can’t assume everyone’s comfortable giving that information out.

  6. says

    I don’t actually use my personal Facebook page much at all, but I don’t mind putting up shots of the kids on my blog facey page or the blog itself or elsewhere where I am published.

    I write about the kids from time to time, but my blog isnt really a blog about them, i think. Its not a ‘mummy’, ‘parenting’ or ‘diary blog. It’s a ‘what amazing opinion should I share with the world today?’ sort of blog. The children are merely my attractive props. As in life…

    I use naff nicknames for the kids on my blog, but often refer to their real names elsewhere (Max, Arabella and Lottie, see, there you go!). What difference does it make – a nickname we use at home or their real name? None, I think. either is fine by me.

    I do know that I took a (completely harmless) photo of the kids in the bath down off my blog a year or so ago when I realised it was the number one downloaded image on my blog… Fark! x

  7. says

    PS – just thought I’d mention that I would never post a pic or write anything that would embarrass the kids (except maybe that bath pic!). If they ever felt differently, I would remove the post and wouldn’t hesitate to remove the whole blog if it came to that! My husbie reads every post and loves my blog as much as I do.

    Great post, Carli. See how much youve got me thinking! Sorry for the essay(s). I miss writing, obviously!! x

  8. bachelormum says

    I keep in mind my daughter’s digital footprint (sorry naff i know) into the future too like Maxabella. I don’t want her cringeing at images I’ve posted of her or information in my daily drama of parenting that could embarrass her. I don’t mind the odd cute pic of her posted, but I don’t mention her name and try to avoid her in her school uniform.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title="" rel=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>