Welcome to Hell

Play centres – love them or loathe them they serve a purpose.  Whether that purpose is to hold a child’s birthday party as far away from your house as humanly possible or to read a paper in peace, the relationship between hell play centres and parents is a complex one.

Party pies are cold and there is always one child that emerges from the inferno with a blood nose.  My nephew’s head was once caught in a gate.  The fire brigade were called.  We don’t laugh about that because I might have done something similar as a child.

Now that my sister’s kids are older, she likes to talk to me about children urinating in the ball pit and communicable diseases.  I try not to look too closely at the infant toys because, to quote The Young Ones, it’s only the stubborn under-stains keeping them together.

Sometimes you take a trip to hell on a rainy day so a toddler can expend some energy but then it all goes pear-shaped when there’s no children to play with.  This is not the life I envisaged for myself…..

Getting stuck halfway down a gigantic slide is humbling.  Please tell me the play centre stage will be over soon?

  • http://kellyexeter.com.au Kelly Exeter

    Oh my god – do we lead parallel lives?

    I was in one such play centre on Saturday (birthday party) and somehow became the key retriever of the children who were flinging themselves into the foam pit of hell. 1 hour and severely aching shoulders later I swore ‘never. ever. again’

    • Mrs.Savage

      That is a lousy job to end up with. I imagine I will be hurting tomorrow!

  • http://www.livinglifeplayingthegladgame.blogspot.com.au Sam-O

    My children are deprived. My 5 year old went to his first play centre for a 5th birthday party just before his own 5th birthday. He was AMAZED. The 2yo went to a 3 yo party last month. He was AWED. He went hell bent for leather and did not want to leave EVER!!

    We left that part with a black eye on one and a haematoma to rival anything I’ve seen not need hospitalisation – it was touch and go if we were going to the hospital or not for a while.

    I realised at the time that I had happily taken my nephews and nieces to these places on many occasions over the years of babysitting I did pre my own children’s arrival. Apparently they were OK for them but not my own kids…

    I take a selection of painkillers in my handbag when I go. If it isn’t me needing them there will certainly be another parent on the scrounge for some!

    • Mrs.Savage

      Oh you have done well keeping that hidden for so long! I will definitely remember the pain killers for next time too :)

  • http://lemonrhodes.blogspot.com.au/ jody

    Oh I hate those places. You are very good to go, I refuse!

    • Mrs.Savage

      I have a love/hate thing with these places but usually err on the side of hate too :)

  • http://www.sakuraharuka.com Ai Sakura

    Crap I never thought about them in this way! Pee in the ball pit?? Head in the gates?!!! o.O” I always had thought it was heaven haha…

    • Mrs.Savage

      Maybe I’m going to the wrong ones?!

  • http://casscansew.blogspot.com.au Cassandra

    Oh! I love play centres as much as I love play dough on carpet!! :-/

    • Mrs.Savage

      Play dough on carpet is the bane of my existence ;)

  • http://aparentinglife.blogspot.com Rhianna @ A Parenting Life

    I tired taking my eldest there only to discover that I was still needed as she didn’t like climbing by herself…needless to say I haven’t really had to return much

    • Mrs.Savage

      Yes I won’t be returning any time soon ;)

  • http://javajane2011.blogspot.com/ Java Jane

    Oh I am so so so not a Play centre fan… I have been to a few.. but like you they always turn pear shaped.. the worst was getting stuck way way up the top of one of those climbing jungles with D refused to come down… I managed to carry him out kicking and screaming.. They do help to expend energy.. but I avoid them like the plague!! Thats crap that there were no kids .. hopefully it will have a happy ending next time!!

    • Mrs.Savage

      I used to always worry that would happen to Mini!

  • http://diaryofasahm.net Jess

    My first job was in one of these places. Every shift, I used to crawl through the tunnels with a bucket and sponge, and clean them thoroughly.
    I notice these days they are not that clean.

    • Mrs.Savage

      You’re my new hero Jess

  • Dr Bron

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Your posts always give me a laugh!

    • Mrs.Savage

      Oh good, happy to hear :)

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