Things my letterbox has taught me

Because I am a stay at home parent, student, wife, cleaner, chef and washing woman – things such as the mail delivery really get me hot.  I’ve been known to walk up and down the driveway several times when I’m expecting anything stamped USPS despite visualising the neighbours across the road muttering “get a life” each time.

I’ve learnt not to order from Shopbop on a Thursday or Friday because they will deliver on a weekend and my husband will spot the fluorescent courier vest from the backyard.  And I know that it might be necessary to remortgage a house in order to afford a winter electricity bill.

This week I’ve been traversing up and down the letterbox path, waiting on the perfect red orange lipstick and a kindergarten letter of acceptance.  In case you weren’t aware, the increase in hours for four year old preschool next year means that you must now produce a password, an infant tear and a rare orange-bellied parrot egg to get accepted.  My guess is we’re either participating in a flashmob or sacrificing a virgin to make it into primary school.

Despite the joys of liaising with Beryl the Battleaxe from the local council offices, it has only been the lipstick that’s turned up this week.  Oh and this:

I don’t say things like this very often, but Victoria why can’t you be more like NSW?  Where are the “upcoming speed camera” and “speed cameras in use” type signs?  My husband has started to make threats of a sexual nature each time one of these turns up in the letterbox and that would be a little too often for my liking.

Thankfully the lipstick lived up to all of my dreams and I’m convinced that is why my husband got sidetracked and laughed off the speeding ticket instead of doing what he normally does – which is pinpoint exactly where he was at the time of the offense before giving me a running history of infringement notices versus bank account balances.

See?  Lipstick wins!  I even lacquered on another coat this afternoon before calling about the great kindergarten enrolment debacle and I’m pretty sure that is why the lady told me we can now expect a letter.  I love you lipstick.


not a sponsored post but if you would like to know where to purchase the perfect red orange lipstick (well technically it’s a pencil) I can recommend


What has your letterbox taught you?




  1. Mumabulous says

    I do live in NSW where we receive prior warning about speed cameras but have still managed to notch up a few of these notices. Dadabulous just puts on his school principal’s voice and tells me I have to be more careful. Its so erotic – NOT. I think I would rather he uttered expletives that rhyme with duck and truck. Loving the lippy.

  2. rhythm&method says

    I check my doorstep every day, even though I know I haven’t ordered anything online. I’m like Pavlov’s dog with parcels.

  3. Melbourne Mum says

    I got a letter from the Department of Ageing. I didn’t open it for, like, 2 days cos I thought it would tell me I was getting old. Thankfully it was only a reminder about Inky’s pneumococcal vaccine.

    Oh, and you look totally amazeballs in that photo. That red totally suits you. Wish I could pull off an orangey red.

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