My name is Carli and I yell at my children. If you’ve ever gotten lost down the rabbit hole of articles that shame particular parenting methods or websites that focus on endless hours of crafting and baking with children – you could be forgiven for thinking that yelling is now a capital offence.
I do not like yelling. There are nights when my husband has to cajole me down from the “I am a bad mother” cliff and reassure me it’s okay. That other parents fail too. I repeat the words “what are you teaching your children by yelling?” inside my head over and over again. It’s a broken record of “Mother’s Greatest Guilt Hits” in there. Intellectually I know the answer but there are times, usually on a Friday evening, when I can’t even remember the question.
Adding to the guilt is this modern age of parenting where everything we do and say is scrutinized. According to child psychologist Michael Carr-Gregg we are raising a “marshmallow generation” – where children are wrapped in cotton wool or “growing up in the shadow of lawyers”.
Don’t leave your children in the car to pay for petrol because someone might steal your car. Don’t let them walk up to a milkbar alone. “No need to go to the park son, I will build one in the backyard!” I’m not suggesting some of these things aren’t valid but what are we so afraid of? And when did we stop checking in on each other and start complaining about it on websites or worse – to authorities?
I want my children to grow up to be independent, yes I would like to keep them safe but I also want them to learn to trust their own instincts. I’m trying to do it with minimum yelling but occasionally I fail. But don’t we all?
Do you think we are raising a marshmallow generation?