My entire life I’ve been told that I’m opinionated.  With the flush of youth I thought I knew everything, and I voiced it pretty clearly, but with time I like to think I’ve become a little more diplomatic.  Better able to appreciate other people’s points of view.  Death, wrinkles and babies in emergency wards will do that to you.

There are still certain things I won’t budge on; marriage equality, pro-choice, racism, pushing in at the supermarket – and sometimes these things get me into trouble.  My husband has an inherent dislike for my loose lips, I have been privy to some of his death stares on international airport buses and commutes into work and it aint pretty.

Given that these things often result in being branded opinionated, I’m often left musing if the menfolk are prone to similar judgement.  Are opinionated men an anomaly or is it just that when women speak up they are seen as being difficult?

The irony’s not lost on me that I’m being opinionated about being opinionated but I really can’t remember the last time I heard anyone call a man opinionated?  Women seem to run the gamut from opinionated to pre-menstrual to hormonal – all perfectly legitimate moods in their own right but each can also serve to undermine a woman’s right to have a say too.

Blogging has mellowed me out a little.  Bloggers criticize each other for being too controversial, projecting a perfect life, being exclusive, over-sharing, not sharing enough.  There’s a permanence to putting your opinion on the internet and we might not always agree with what other people say or do but we can still do it in a diplomatic and courteous manner.

I know my attempts at humour and style of writing is not to many people’s taste and maybe there are some blogs out there that really get under your skin but behind every blog is a face and making deliberately snarky or hurtful comments behind an anonymous pseudonym isn’t clever.  It’s cowardly.

Sometimes it pays to remind ourselves how lucky we are to have a voice.  That we can have an opinion without  incurring violence.  That despite our gender most of us probably don’t fall into the category of the 70% of the world’s poorest people who are female.  Let’s respect that.



  1. says

    1. I agree – I can’t think that I have ever heard any man described as ‘opinionated’. They do get ‘boorish’ though!!

    2. I love opinions – and I love them even more when they’re expressed in a respectful manner. As in ‘here’s what I think but I also understand that you may not agree with me and that’s cool because hey, how boring would the world be if we all thought the same’.

    3. I hope this post isn’t because people have been leaving nasty comments here because seriously, I just do not understand that at all. If I read something on the internet that I don’t like I click away. I don’t get people who think it is EVER appropriate to be deliberately nasty.

    • Mrs.Savage says

      They do get boorish don’t they? And brash is another one.

      Thankfully I haven’t had anything too nasty, but it never ceases to amaze me the lengths some people will go to dislike someone.

  2. Michelle (mamabook) says

    High 5 from another opinionator. I think your gender analysis is spot on too. Sadly.

    • Mrs.Savage says

      It’s a little sad that we live in a society where wedding vows still include things like “happy is the man with a silent wife”. My husband must be awfully unhappy ;)

  3. says

    YEAH. I love me some opinionated women … love.

    Some days I’m in dire need of some thick skin, other days I tell the world to blow me.

    …hey HAPPY BIRTHDAY for the other day, lovely Taurean! XX

  4. says

    I’m a taurus too!

    Meanwhile, WHAT IS IT with people who jump queues? I cannot stand it. And I’ve been known to open my mouth and have stuff just come tumbling out when I never used to do that. But boy do I hate a pusher-innerer!

  5. Kim-Marie says

    Loved this post. Can you imagine not being opinionated?! All it means is that I have an opinion and am not afraid to share it. You’re quite right. I’ve never heard a man being described as so. Although I do think they get hormonal too!

  6. says

    I so admire that quality actually – I have strong opinions and if it is to do with my kids or someone I care about I just let it all blurt, but when it comes to myself – I suck at standing up for myself. I am working on it, but at the moment I still suck! xx

    • Mrs.Savage says

      It’s funny how our kids bring out those emotions, and I think having some restraint is a good thing sometimes too :)

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