Five things I wish my wife would stop asking

questions

Last week I shared the five most annoying questions my husband asks me and as promised, here is my husband’s right of reply. I have to admit to helping him along with some of the questions but we did agree on the final five. Unfortunately, because he is out for work drinks very busy and important, I have had to write these on his behalf. Shame about that.

1. What time will you be home?

When I first mentioned this one, my husband almost fist pumped the air. Why do I need to know when he will be home? Because sometimes I am at the end of my tether and I’d just like to remain hopeful that someone else will magically appear at the witching hour and manage the bedtime routine*. I have been known to walk up to train stations with a child or two in tow just to “greet” him.

* Not a euphemism

2. How many drinks did you have?

I don’t really know why I ask this one. I guess it’s similar to “how much did it cost?” in that there is a detailed mathematical equation going on that involves him subtracting a certain number of drinks and me adding a certain number of drinks. I have been known to go further and ask “pints or pots?”

3. Who was there?

Given that most of my working hours are spent inside the house, sometimes I just want to live vicariously through someone else. Other times I quite like concocting an entire Mad Men series that is centred around his office and I’m a little curious if Joan or Roger attended those social drinks too.

4. Do we have to watch this?

Never mind that there is a second television less than twenty feet away, I was on this couch first and I don’t really wish to be subjected to the seventy-fifth repeat of Two and a Half Men/Big Bang Theory/Mighty Structures/Flip Men (excluding that episode about how roller coasters were built, that was pretty cool).

5. How is your day going? What did you do today?

I actually thought this was just showing interest but apparently there are times you don’t ask. I’m slowly coming to terms with this one since the four-year-old gives me a similar response when I ask about kinder and I get to I feel like Kevin Arnold’s mum.

Has your partner got any more he’d like to add? Perhaps you’re a man who’d like to share your most irritating inquisition?