Digging for fire

It’s no revelation to say it, but my writing seems to flow better when there’s fire in my belly.  I’m never short on finding things to irritate, challenge or upset me and I quite enjoy tempering those emotions with some logic.  The resulting posts are usually the ones that touch a nerve with others.  In digging for the fire my words sometimes reverberate and I find out I’m not so alone.

But every now and then the fire subsides.

Last Saturday I had lunch with some family.  I had a few bridges to mend after writing too hastily.  Words were misinterpreted.  I never started blogging with the intention of telling other people’s stories or hurting them so I’m learning to search for new fires.

And sometimes there are none.

Just the cold realisation of how fortunate you are.  On Saturday I came across people with all types of fire in their belly.  Mine feel so incredibly trivial.  They are almost non-existent.  And I just can’t find anything to write about.  I’m digging for fire but I can’t even find a flame.

In a separate dwelling of my body lie so many raging fires.  I douse them with water because they involve other people.  I douse them with water because resonance is not a virtuous enough outcome.  I can’t temper the emotions with logic.  I still wonder what the words would look like.

 

 

Do you have fires you wish you could write about?  Do you write them somewhere private just to get it out?

Comments

  1. says

    I love your writing Carli.

    Me – I douse every fire that flares up as quickly as possible. They take a huge amount of energy from me to keep crackling away and that’s energy I don’t have to spare. Not saying that it’s wrong for others to do so, I just seem to get consumed really quickly by negative emotions so I need to keep them well in check!

  2. Karen says

    Wonderful post! I think had I not realised I had a raging fire inside me, I would have happily had babies and never written a single word other than a shopping list. But there is a fire, and I can’t ignore it. Writing for me is a compulsion: not just the act itself, the overthinking and analysing and trying to make the world better or more thoughtful or more caring. I think of it not as a stabby knife to seek revenge, but perhaps a swiss army knife with multiple functions.
    The world needs people with fire in their bellies, particularly women. Yes, it can get tricky sometimes (like when your husband objects to being written about in your Kidspot post 2 hours before your deadline) but that just comes with the responsibility of living in the world.

  3. Mrsceeeceee says

    This feels very familiar, especially after getting my fingers burnt last week by being too naive and too specific. Your writing is so beautiful – even when you write about fennel! It doesn’t matter what you write about, just keep writing. x

  4. What_Sarah_Did_Next says

    Oh yes, indeed I do have fires burning away. The wealth of material there is incredible! But I cannot write about them – publicly at least – the consequences would not be pretty. I just grit my teeth and keep on. I toyed with the idea of writing it all down to get it off my chest anyway, but haven’t acted on it. Yet.

    As long as YOU keep on writing, Carli, that’s the important thing. I really enjoy your work here.

    xx

  5. Lily Mae says

    Blogging is great in that way, learning boundaries – what to say, what not to say, how to say it.

    A lot of my blogging was venting but I’ve come to terms with the fact that I just can’t take on anymore than what I’ve got.. Emotionally, physically, etc. so I guess no, I don’t have anything I wish I could write about but can’t. Not anymore anyway.

  6. bachelormum says

    I have so much fire in my belly on issues revolving around single parenting, kids at risk, mothers and fathers at risk, among other things, and i’m finding through this medium ways to release it but in a way that still leaves my personal life intact. It’s a very precarious tightrope – most of it involves taking calculated risks (which can be confronting) seasoned with diplomacy and a recognition that revealing all isn’t necessarily a good thing but without authenticity you cannnot connect.

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