1. What did you do while I was gone?
I probably sat on my proverbial backside and stared into space for what felt like two minutes but ended up being twenty. I’m tired. Something to do with part-time uni, part-time work, a blog, two kids, two Twitter accounts, three Facebook accounts, six email addresses, etc, etc. I don’t really need to know what my husband does while I’m out getting milk for what feels like the seventeenth time this week so sometimes I wish he’d just not ask.
2. How much did that cost?
I used to round down to the nearest dollar. I know my husband’s onto this one, and he knows that I know that he’s onto this one. Now I round down to the nearest dollar then subtract an additional ten, sometimes five….just to keep him on his toes. I’m wondering if I need to start a spreadsheet.
3. Is that new?
This old thing? I’ve had it for ages, I just never wear it. Okay okay, I bought it (yesterday) six months ago.
4. Are those the same dishes from this morning?
After approximately ten years of cohabitation it amazes me that my husband still thinks it’s clever or wise to ask this one. It’s a conversation that never ends well. I am neither lazy nor slovenly but if we had to pick the untidiest party in our relationship, it’s me. I know it. He knows it. If we could just accept it and move on, that’d be great.
5. Don’t you ever sit on the floor and play with the kids?
Before you go Judgy McJudgerson here, I do play with my kids on floors. It’s just that sitting down to put together one of these things has been known to turn me bat shit crazy, plus my knees are getting old and it’s getting more and more difficult to get back up again.
I’d much prefer to get outside, and I’d kind of like my kids to learn to play on their own a little too. Trying to explain all of this while your toddler is hysterical with joy because you sat down to do a puzzle for what looks like the first time in three years can prove difficult.
Stay tuned for next week when I ask my husband the things he hates hearing most from me.
Have you got a spousal question you’re tired of hearing?