Ten things you might hate about me

Last week, the lovely Sonia from Life Love and Hiccups tagged me with the Kreativ Blogger Award* – if it sounds dubious that’s because (to the non-blogger) it probably is.

For the rest of us these awards are a great way to acknowledge other bloggers and perhaps turn people onto new blogs they might not have otherwise discovered. On top of that, Sonia is one of those people who just radiates nice so when she tells me to do something, I do it.

Now you might be looking at the award right now and thinking “has she taken up craft?” (it’s ok, I still suck at craft) – yet despite the awards somewhat Martha Stewart appearance, I discovered its origins go all the way back to Norway.

CRAFT FAIL: You’ll notice I haven’t watermarked this picture – seriously if you need to steal it then you have bigger issues than copyright laws to deal with.

The award never started off with pink wallpaper and personally I think it needs to get back to its cool Nordic roots so I therefore propose a new logo (is that allowed?)

And since I appear to be getting away from the whole point of the award which is to divulge ten things about myself and forward the award onto more bloggers – in no particular order, I tag the following:

Cup of Tea And A Blog

Stuff No One Told Mandie

Both of these women are very funny and I enjoy reading their take on life so go and check them out. Now for the scary bit.

The Ten Questions

1. What is my favourite song?

This is like asking me to name my favourite child – it fluctuates. Where one child/song may have given me joy one week, the next week I’m starting to get pretty sick of the sound they make so I swap.

2. My favourite dessert

I can’t remember what this was called but it involved meringue, pistachio sorbet, rose-water jelly and a gaping hole in my hip pocket.

3. What ticks me off

Inequality.

4.When I’m upset, what do I do?

Wallow.

5. My favourite pet

A pug/boston terrier named Bruno/Frankie. This dog may/may not actually exist outside of anywhere but my head and it will possibly stay that way until my husband decides to fix the side gate. I suspect he is delaying this on purpose.

6. What do I prefer – black or white?

Is this a trick question?

7. What is my biggest fear?

I used to say sharks but one of my sisters made a valid point that being locked in a room with a sadistic rapist is probably worse.

8. What is my attitude?

To what? Is this another trick question?

9. What is perfection?

The dictionary defines perfection as ‘the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects’ – so I can only say for me this involves a five star luxury hotel room, white linen, a pillow menu, sleep, someone massaging my feet while another person feeds Haigh’s chocolate covered apricots into my mouth.

10. What is my guilty pleasure?

Those ridiculous blocks of chocolate that involve pieces of jelly and honeycomb – I often look down and don’t remember eating anything but this feeling is shortly followed by a sickening one of lard sitting in the pits of my stomach and making its way down to my thighs.

10 Random facts about me

I dislike when people read my magazines before me. Creased pages upset me.

It annoys me when people don’t move to the left on escalators.

I cannot share a lolly bag at the cinemas. Get your own.

I once had pre-cancerous cells removed from my cervix (pap smears people!)

I hate that I just wrote cervix.

I hate that I just wrote it again.

I will often “early-disclose” to cement/interpret a potential friendship and it kind of irks me when this is not eventually reciprocated.

I’m finding this more difficult than I anticipated.

Oh, what about the time I was chased by a pelican at the zoo?

I firmly believe there is nothing in life that cannot be enhanced by a Seinfeld or Simpsons quote.

* not a real award