Archive | December, 2011

Fashion Finds of 2011

J Brand 901 Leggings in Pitch Yeah yeah we get it, leggings are not pants.  Just accept the fact that when everybody started wearing leggings underneath everything they realised how comfortable the darn things were and are now reluctant to take them off.  Ever. Leggings and jeggings have come a long way baby so don’t [...]

A New Public Holiday

You have to occasionally wonder if Christmas Day was a gift sent to test our capabilities in the art of compromise.  Who cooks the turkey, which family refuses to budge on lunch, who is the designated driver.  Give a little, take a little.  Scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. Some people are so adept [...]

Christmas Fashion

If there’s one colour that encapsulates Christmas it’s red.  Aside from the obvious reasons of Santa, Rudolph, holly and plump summer cherries there are the lesser known reds.  The red wine-stained teeth, the fraying tempers and bloodshot eyes.  2009 is referred to by some family members as The Christmas Day Massacre (don’t worry, no one [...]

Foxy Over 40

Helen Mirren, 66, is a wonderful actor and much has been made of her timeless beauty. Earlier this year the UK’s Telegraph wrote of her sex appeal having “no expiry date”. At 67, Lauren Hutton looks equally stunning despite famously shunning plastic surgery, “I look the way I look because of my makeup, not because [...]

12 Days of Christmas

On the Twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me 12 Table Scratches 11 Piping Bags Pounded 10 Tarnished TVs 9 Walls Need Painting 8 Doors are Jamming 7 Books Are Shredded 6 Penguins Fleeing 5 Destroyed Dinos 4 Calling (for help) Birds 3 Electric Shocks 2 Drawers are Sagging And 1 Santa [...]

Stupid Tourist

I wouldn’t describe my husband and I as particularly stupid yet when boarding a plane for more than seven hours it appears that some of our brain cells go missing. As care-free kids in our twenties, we prided ourselves on having a little street cred.  Hell, my husband grew up in Dandenong.  But on a [...]

We Are All Bogans

Lately I’ve taken issue with the term “bogan”.  Where once it was a humorous term poking fun at mullets and skin tight jeans, lately it has a certain stink of snobbery. Now don’t get me wrong, aggressive alcoholic types and waving Australian flags in people’s faces at music festivals deserves derision, but it appears to [...]

My Secret Victoria’s Secret

I wish I could tell you what it is about six-foot genetically blessed women parading around in their knickers that floats my boat.  It’s definitely not Seal singing corny songs about angels or Ari from Entourage sitting in the front row.  Again.  And it can’t be the fashion since there is none, unless you like [...]

Mummy’s Boys

Before my son was born I was often heard to say, “I won’t be raising no mummy’s boy”.  Two days after his birth, he was admitted into the NICU with a suspected rotated bowel, (thankfully he was fine), which had me singing “you can have whatever you like” quicker than you can say “Marie Barone”. [...]

Seeking Someone Special

Lately I’ve been on the lookout for a special kind of someone.  I’ve been screening candidates for some time now and more often than not I’m a little let down or we just don’t connect. Sometimes this person abuses an imbalance of power and keeps me waiting for over an hour without telling me.  When [...]